Afraid to Fail

Last week my professor challenged me to write both a vision statement (where I want to go) and a mission statement (how I am going to get there) for the next 2 years of college. The foundation for these two statements was the list of strengths, motivations, and spiritual gifts that I have been finding in myself over the last few weeks of the course.

Where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign. – Victor Hugo

Creating those two statements was not too difficult for me. I know some things I want to do, so the planning and dreaming is fun! For some reason, though, my next assignment has me terrified. This week I am supposed to write two goals— one long-term and one short-term—based on that mission statement. I have to actually back up my plan with action. 

I have never thought of myself as being afraid of failure. How could I? I have failed so many times I thought that I might be immune to the fear of it. But here I am—fearful that my dreams and ideas won’t work the way I want them to.

These dreams of mine are not secret or radical. In fact, a few of you have probably even heard me talking about them. But that’s all it was: talk.  Behind the scenes, for almost the entirety of 2013, my best friend was trying to get me to actually go start something [*hint* write something].

I always had an excuse—an obstacle that I created for myself to postpone action. I knew that starting something would require me to put time, energy, and creative effort into something that might flop.

Yeah, no more excuses.

 <<<<>>>>

 Want some more background? I suggest reading my last post, College Decisions, here.

And yes, my post on being an English major is coming within the week.

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