I acknowledge that I have slacked off significantly in my dedication to writing regularly. Imagine that—an English major who does not have time to write. At one point I tricked myself into thinking that writing a blog post should be easy and effortless, but the hours I spend at my keyboard battling words and ideas would testify otherwise. So in the three weeks since I last posted, a new job, a major test and general stress has kept me at a distance from a Word doc. Then, thanks to a blog post by Cole Ryan explaining his views on writing, I felt inspired to sit down and just write what is on my mind without worrying about grammar, presentation, getting traffic or anything—just write.
I spent all last Friday in bed feeling dizzy with a sore throat and the sniffles. I woke up Saturday and convinced myself I was better and pushed myself…by the end of the day I had lost my voice. Sunday was a repeat of Friday—bed, water, sleep, TV shows. This morning at about 6:15am I had to decide if I was well enough to go into work. After a few minutes of deliberating, I chose to go in. I still felt a little lightheaded and on my way out the door I almost turned back and called my boss. I wanted to sleep so badly.
During my drive there I had a good amount of time to sit and think about how much I hated traffic, but during that time I found the real reason I didn’t want to go to work—I did not want to face life, not that I was feeling too ill to do my job. I think everyone has experienced that feeling before, we want to just hide under the covers of our warm, comfortable bed and wait for every hard and painful thing to pass by and then come out when the sun is shining. I actually like my job, but the idea of getting out of bed to push through physical sickness and emotional turmoil was not a process I wanted to go through. It’s a good thing that the Holy Spirit is alive and active because I believe that he was the one shoving me out the door this morning. I knew that no matter how much I felt like doing nothing, my feelings are never at the top of God’s priority list. God does not hand out “excuse slips” to his followers simply because they don’t feel like it. He is what my life is about and so every waking moment is to be dedicated to Him.
I’ll end with a few lines from the band Switchfoot (I heard it on my way to work this morning…it kind of hammered God’s point home).
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes