I get it. I cannot do anything on this earth, I cannot accomplish any earthly work of spiritual service that will ever make me worth something more in the eyes of Jesus. What makes me think that doing more than the next person will make Jesus love me more? His love for me is already so deep that he suffered the ultimate physical and spiritual pain and darkness just so that I can be with Him. And He did this for me before I even drew breath. I didn’t have to do anything in the first place to make Him love me!!! He already did!
Do I continue to serve Him and love Him out of a heart of obedience and gratitude? Of course! But it can’t turn into a “who is more grateful” contest. No, it comes down to this: I need to love Jesus the way that HE wants me to love Him. Just like in relationships you have to learn how to speak the other person’s love language, I need to stop trying to love Jesus the way I want to love Him (the way other people are) and start loving Him the way He wants me to. And what is that? To obey His words. To develop my relationship with Him through the intercession of the Holy Spirit and to cultivate a heart that is wholly devoted to the Lord. It means taking the things He wants me to do (College. Writing. Home-service. Church. Friendships.) and taking them to Him–asking Him how He wants me to love Him in those actions.
Jesus’ love is for all eternity. My worth is found in Him.